I know it's been ages since I last wrote for the simple reason that my cyberlife is losing to my real life.
I met a boy. He's my male version and I knew it straight away that that there is quite a big chance that he is the one. This post is dedicated to him.
From time to time in a relationship or in a pseudorelationship things tend to be sweet or bitter or better yet a bittersweetish mixture of happiness, sorrow, disappointment, hopelessness, endless extasy and so on, . Being borderline about it won't do too much good. This time it is so strange, because I'm not the only one trying to hang on to something in a desperate manner, which sooner or later screws up everything and leaves me with nothing. It's two of us this time. I find it hard to express my feelings, he doesn't. It scares me, usually I tend to run when the other one's affection towards me becomes owerwhelming and slightly much too handle, in the same way as I used to chase away so many people by being straight forward and a little pushy I dare say.
Still we're two of a kind and I shouldn't be scared, I've found what I've been looking for for ages, however I think the timing was perfect, we both had more than enough time to experience all sorts of crazy things without a guilty conscience that by doing these things severe consequences will follow.
Anyway, every mnute seems like an eternity when spent alone.
My feelings are like a rollercoaster at the moment, but I'm sure I will be able to sort that one out, too.
All I want is to stop worrying about senseless things and start living and start being happy instead of being paranoid all the time.
Yours forever and ever (or at least for 20 years =]])
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