Sunday, 5 April 2009


Haven't had a messed up mood like this in ages... Haven't slept for days... I miss my grandpa... I miss him really bad =[[
I wanted to stay home and I wanted to come back in the same time... It was okay at home but I missed London... Now I'm here and I am so pissed off that I didn't stay for another week at least... Now I miss my Mom and Grandma and the rest of my family and friends... I have to send the application folder to the uni next week... There is a slight chance that I screw that up too and then I don't have a plan B so again I feel like I want to run out of this world...

I know I I I, it sounds like it's all about me... if I feel rotten all the rest of the world should feel rotten or if not so, at least everyone should try to cheer me up for crying out loud so that I can be myself again! I never felt more lonely than now... Yet strangely I don't want to socialize with anyone...
There was just one thing I could do... listen to music on my iPod while I was on the bus from the airport and make up silly little scenes in my head which cheered me up for a few seconds... I love tunnels, even the short ones under the motorway sections with the little yellow lights... for a few seconds it feels like it's nighttime and that I am some kind of a jamesbondish character who is in the middle of some action moment... and then the planes take off and they dissapear in the sun for a fraction of a second and then they speed up... it is so dynamic and I always play some hardcore music during these sequences or sometimes just Placebo or Portishead or something really chill. Today was a hardcore kind of theme song day.

Okay then, hope that everyone has at least a half as a crappy day as I do!



1 comment:

  1. Kicsi Pindurkám!

    Pontosan ezeket érzem én is....
    Kint voltam Tatinál, voltam Lolóéknál, nem kapom a helyem, üres a ház nélküled, hiányzol nagyon de nagyon!!!!
    Fura ez az élet, mert képtelenség folyton együtt lenni, de ha nem tudok mindenkit akit szeretek magam mellett, akkor nyűgös vagyok és izgatom magam, de ezt tudod jól, mert te is ilyen vagy.
    Hülyeség igaz, hogy az idő majd megold mindent? Szerintem ez nem igaz, de most ez van. HNézek ki a fejemből és fáj a lelkem...nagyon.
    Puszik Kicsim és szeretlek nagyon, nagyon nagyon, nagyon....