Sober ^_^

This straight edge thing is working out really well for me! I had so much fun tonight, pubbing with some friends and I am in bed now fresh and aware of everything I've said and done in the past hours. I'm sure the Pavlov's dog effect in the morning will wear off soon!

Good night!

x

Strange fact of the day *_*

I don't drink anymore... I went out twice this weekend, all I had was water and Red Bull and in the morning I have terrible hangovers... Nurofen time... How strange is that? My mom thinks I suffer from Pavlov's dog syndrome O_o

Car doors... O_o

Have you ever noticed the following phenomenon? For instance a guy is getting a cab and the door is locked, he knocks on the driver's sidewindow and shows him that it's locked. The driver opens it in the same time as the anxious passanger pulls the handle, thus the door remains stuck. This happens two-three times until he realises that he just should wait for a second and pull after that...

Hey little sister what have you done?! ^_^

I feel a terrible urge to listen to Billy Idol's White Wedding! *_*

Pirates O_x

I am warning you, this is hilarious =]]

Pirates hold captain hostage as U.S. ship sails away
A freed cargo ship goes on its way as four stranded pirates, with their American captive, in one small lifeboat face off against a U.S. destroyer, surveillance craft and helicopters.

[Los Angeles Times, April 10, 2009]

They must be living their childhood dreams. I want to play pirate, too! Arrrggghhhhh!!!

I wonder though if they have wooden legs and eyepatches and parrots on their shoulders...

P!ink ^_^

I really like Pink, I always have! She is a cool gal ^_^
I love her new video and I want to have that pink outfit she's wearing. It's like Alice in Wonderland meets gothic lolita/porcelain doll, all in one...

Another religion related post, sorry... O_o

I've been going to mass this week, for my grandpa and for myself too actually. Going to church is slowly becoming addictive... think Fight Club... you know the support group thing... it feels like that... sort of...

The thing is that I don't know any prayers, okay, just one in Hungarian, but here I have no clue what to say in church and the prayers... no idea about that whatsoever either and I didn't even bother to check them how they sound in English, not even out of curiosity. I never even wanted to learn one anyway. Here's what I think of prayers... In school you had to learn poems by heart and I always found it very difficult to memorize them and I didn't see the point of the whole thing. It didn't leave any room for your own thoughts and creativity. You learnt a poem by heart, you got a good grade, if you failed to learn it, you got a bad grade. Simple as that.

Now, does learning loads of prayers and saying them over and over again, instead of talking to God in your own words, make you look good in the eyes of God? And if you don't know even one single prayer does it mean that you are doomed forever? Okay, I know silly rethoric questions, but please do tell if you feel the need to learn prayers for different reasons!

Peace be with you and good night! ^_^

x

God *_*

It's been a week since my beloved grandpa passed away... still can't believe it and nothing will be the same ever again...

I went to church tonight... I almost never go to church because I just rarely feel the need to attend a mass. I rather go to church alone whenever I think it might help me in some way. I can take care of all my issues with God anywhere, I don't need a priest who maybe isn't even a true believer and who is a bigger sinner than I am to preach about how great God is. I know that, thank you very much. God is in my heart. Period.

The mass started one hour later for some reason and I had plenty of time to think. Many thoughts crossed my mind during that hour, religion related things mainly. St. Dominic's Priory smells like the church at home... Anyway I could draw the conclusion again that God is so cool that He has loads of pseudonyms and he has many thousands of houses all over the world. Oh, and He is reading your blog too, even if you're a non-believer! =]]

My favourite part of a mass is when you shake hands with total strangers in the name of peace, and the love you feel is sometimes greater than the love you get from your closest friends...

I'm a total mess...

Rest in peace Grandpa!

P.S. I hope I didn't sound like some kind of a cult leader, but religion vs. faith is always an interesting topic to talk about...

Peace! ^_^

khsdbghpiehbinkbiphbgpohjerpohbjfdopbjeo

Haven't had a messed up mood like this in ages... Haven't slept for days... I miss my grandpa... I miss him really bad =[[

I wanted to stay home and I wanted to come back in the same time... It was okay at home but I missed London... Now I'm here and I am so pissed off that I didn't stay for another week at least... Now I miss my Mom and Grandma and the rest of my family and friends... I have to send the application folder to the uni next week... There is a slight chance that I screw that up too and then I don't have a plan B so again I feel like I want to run out of this world...

I know I I I, it sounds like it's all about me... if I feel rotten all the rest of the world should feel rotten or if not so, at least everyone should try to cheer me up for crying out loud so that I can be myself again! I never felt more lonely than now... Yet strangely I don't want to socialize with anyone...

There was just one thing I could do... listen to music on my iPod while I was on the bus from the airport and make up silly little scenes in my head which cheered me up for a few seconds... I love tunnels, even the short ones under the motorway sections with the little yellow lights... for a few seconds it feels like it's nighttime and that I am some kind of a jamesbondish character who is in the middle of some action moment... and then the planes take off and they dissapear in the sun for a fraction of a second and then they speed up... it is so dynamic and I always play some hardcore music during these sequences or sometimes just Placebo or Portishead or something really chill. Today was a hardcore kind of theme song day.

Okay then, hope that everyone has at least a half as a crappy day as I do!

Love,

S.

Rest in peace my beloved grandpa!

I will always love you and I will miss you very much! You were the best grandpa anybody could ever have!